I believe that New Year’s resolutions are unique and meaningful opportunities to commit to positive change in our lives. For those of you who are undergoing a divorce or are recently divorced, a deep commitment to create change that will move you forward into a new life is hopefully very compelling. What better time to promise yourself that you will do all you can to let go of the pain of the past and move into a future filled with possibility than a new year?
Resolutions must be extremely compelling to us personally in order for us to keep them. They must resonate on a deep level. They need to be truly important with a clear connection to our values and passions. That is why so many people fail in their resolutions…they just aren’t important enough to them.
What could be more compelling to a woman who is newly divorced than to resolve to heal herself and build a new life based on what she wants now? In order to determine what she wants, she needs to know herself, the self that is emerging from the end of her marriage, a phoenix rising from the ashes. The past is gone with no hold on your future self except the hold that you choose to erect. It really comes down to choice. You are blessed with free will, the will to choose how you want to live your life.
I took a wonderful yoga class this week that reminded me of how impactful the practice of mindfulness can be on our well-being. The instructor gave us many affirmations to recite, each corresponding to a different chakra. One of them really stood out for me because it seemed to apply to my clients in divorce recovery. It states: The process of purification dissolves who I am not and reveals who I am. If we substitute the word purification for self-discovery or divorce recovery, it clarifies exactly what divorce recovery is all about: finding out who we are now and creating a life that is based on that person.
We dissolve the mind chatter that attempts to sabotage our self-esteem and confidence, the mind chatter of our wounded ego and the pain that wants nothing more than to keep us stuck where we are after our divorce. We reveal the person behind that mind chatter, the person who we have always been meant to be. We dissolve or let go of what holds us back and venture into a new life filled with possibilities for our future.
Use your divorce and the New Year as opportunities to heal, let go, claim your power and a life that will fill you with joy, meaning and fulfillment. Resolve to move beyond your perspective of pain and doubt and to remove anything that is standing in the way of your happiness. Resolve to do the work of divorce recovery.
