Life After Divorce Articles

Powerful Life After Divorce Articles

Divorce Recovery Articles
Articles on Improving Your Relationships
Articles on Creating the Best You
Creating Positive Change Articles
Articles for Baby Boomers
Articles on Our Children and Divorce
Additional Articles of Value

to the top

Divorce Recovery Articles

Divorce: Don’t ask Why?

In life, I have come to accept the fact that there are questions of mine that will never be answered to my satisfaction if at all. I have come to accept the fact that some things in life are beyond my comprehension and I must trust or have faith that certain occurrences are indeed outside the realm of human reason. I have also come to see how these acts of acceptance with their attendant faith about life are concepts that apply to learning how to let go and move on after your divorce.

Was Your Divorce a Means to Healing Old Baggage?

Here’s a fascinating take on divorce that I find more true than not: We choose our spouses, usually subconsciously, as a means to healing old emotional wounds we have been carrying around our entire life. Our divorce then becomes the wakeup call to clean up that mental baggage we have been lugging around once and for all which in turn allows us to become the person we were always meant to be!

Life After Divorce: Choosing a Happy New Year

The New Year is the proverbial time to make resolutions about our lives. This year may I suggest that you resolve to make an empowering choice for yourself? Choose to have a Happy New Year. As human beings, the ability to consciously choose is our most powerful attribute. Choice is ours and ours alone. Choose to commit to living this one precious life of yours as a happy person.

Newly Divorced and Surviving the Holidays

The Holidays are upon us once again and for many of you, this might be the first time around as a new unit, I.E. without your ex. It’s a difficult time, no doubt about it, and just another step in the transition into a new life after divorce.

Divorce: Freedom is the Reward of Letting Go

The ability to move on after your divorce entails the letting go of the past with its emotional baggage and negative emotions. If you can accomplish this feat then the heavy burdens you have been carrying will lift and you will experience the liberation of freedom: the ability to move unimpeded towards whatever goal you establish for yourself.

Living with Change and Uncertainty: Life after Divorce

The universe is in a constant state of flux. Nothing ever remains the same. In this respect we are a mirror of the universe. Look back on your life and see how it has been one change after another laced with constant uncertainty. Just when you think things have settled in they change again.

Recovering from Divorce: Honoring the Truth

Do you remember the old adage that states there’s your side, there’s my side and then there’s the truth? If we were totally honest with ourselves, we too could see the truth of any situation. Once we accept that truth, we have the new found freedom to gain clarity, discover our options and make real choices that are based in reality and not a subjective interpretation of what is.

How to Handle your Emotions during Divorce

Divorce brings out the lunatic within us. Rage, anger, depression, sadness, resentment and blame are just some of negative emotions running the show. Your emotional state is hard to pin down from one moment to the next. This is not the best state of mind to be in when you are being called upon to handle so many things and make so many very important choices and decisions.

How To Forgive after Your Divorce

Forgiveness is a miraculous act that serves as a release valve that propels us forward into a new life after divorce. To forgive is to be truly free, to be unencumbered by the past. The problem or challenge with forgiveness is that it is very difficult and oftentimes near impossible for us to go there, especially if we are leaving an abusive relationship of some sort. How can we forgive really bad behavior? How can we forgive someone who has wronged or betrayed us?

Divorce Recovery: Beware Expectations

In a nutshell, expectations are premeditated resentments and disappointments. They are self-sabotaging beliefs we hold that literally set us up to feel bad and keep us stuck in the pain of our divorce. They are in direct conflict with how the world actually works and are based on the phrase, ‘should be’. In order to let go of the pain of our divorce, we must let go of impossible expectations.

Divorce Recovery: Acceptance of What Was and What Is

The clients who come to me for help in letting go and moving on after their divorce discover that acceptance, a mandatory step in divorce recovery, comes in two stages. First we work to be in acceptance of the end of our marriage and then we move on to accept what our life is now, in the present. This second step in the acceptance process seems to be the more difficult hurdle to overcome but it can be overcome successfully.

Recovering from Divorce: Honoring the Truth

Do you remember the old adage that states there’s your side, there’s my side and then there’s the truth? If we were totally honest with ourselves, we too could see the truth of any situation.

Divorce Recovery: Are Your Fears Holding You Back?

Divorce turns our lives upside down. It throws us into a major life transition that is colored by intense feelings and emotions that can be debilitating. I believe that fear is the main culprit that holds us back from not only healing and letting go of our pain, but also from moving forward into a new life. So it is fear we need to identify and then overcome.

The Real Divorce: Cutting the Emotional Ties that Bind

Your divorce decree is only step one in moving into a new life after divorce. The real divorce is the cutting of the emotional, mental and physical ties that still bind you to your ex-husband.

Divorce: Pain and Rebirth

The reality of divorce is pain, confusion and grief. We lose an entire way of life that we may have spent years building. Our plans for the future dissolve and must eventually be replaced with new and better plans. How do we re-create ourselves after divorce?

Divorce recovery: Letting Go of Toxic Emotions

You will never fully recover from your divorce and go on to live a new and vibrant life unless you can let go of the toxic emotions produced as a result of a failed marriage. Letting go is one of the hardest things to accomplish after a divorce. Some people live the rest of their lives mired in bitterness, anger and resentment. The ability to let go allows us to move on with our lives and create new lives that open up a world of possibilities.

Mental Health: Nine Tips to Rebuild your Life and your Goals after Divorce

When you get married, you make a decision to wrap your life around not only your own goals and dreams, but also the goals and dreams of your spouse and the goals and dreams you have as a couple. Divorce declares that decision null and void. So, when the marriage ends, what’s next? You have to move on, but where do you go and how?

Moving Beyond Your Divorce: Acceptance

There is no single more powerful stumbling block to moving beyond our divorce into a new life than the inability to accept our new reality. Acceptance is the hardest part of the divorce recovery process. Acceptance requires total honesty, courage and the willingness to let go of the life that we had…a life that no longer exists. Without that acceptance, we cannot move forward and create a new life.

The Cost of Being Right: A High Price To Pay

One of the highest prices we pay in life is the cost of being right. Some of us will sacrifice almost anything just in order to be the last one standing. A person who had been surrounded by their peers now sits alone, safe in the knowledge that he or she is right in their viewpoint even though they have alienated everyone around them.

Victimhood: The Curse of Divorce Recovery

Feeling or labeling yourself a victim of your divorce is one of the most disastrous moves you can make. It will prevent you from moving forward into a new life.

to the top

Articles on Improving Your Relationships

Relationships Change: How to Maintain Them

Often times we wonder if we are holding onto a relationship with a friend just because of our history together. How do we know if it is simply time to move on or look to do things differently in order to maintain that relationship?

Our Aging Parents – How to Maintain Your Relationship

Our parents are elderly. With old age come the changes in our folks that are very difficult to handle. Not only are their bodies in decline but more often than not so are their minds. Our relationships with them are not easy. How can we do things differently to ensure that out time with them is meaningful and easier?

Creating Your Best Relationship

Acceptance is one of the most important ingredients to a good relationship with our significant other. Acceptance does not imply giving up or accepting bad behavior. Quite the contrary. It is only when we can accept what is versus what we think should be can we move forward to make the necessary changes to ensure our happiness.

to the top

Articles on Creating the Best You

Cultivate Awareness And Change Your Life: Lessons From The Rainforest

The rainforest in Central America taught me a wonderful lesson: if you can quiet yourself and truly focus your attention on your surroundings, you will see a multitude of things that were seemingly invisible. To view the wonders that the rainforest offers takes increased attention and awareness. The obvious analogy to life is that heightened awareness will gift us a life that offers to intrigue us, to expand our horizons and offer new sources of joy.

Conscious Living – The Key To Positive And Lasting Change

To be aware or conscious of our actions, out thoughts, our motivations and our reactions is to live on a conscious level. Conscious living allows us to have far more control over our lives and not be run by self-defeating habits. We recognize when the unconscious part of our mind is attempting to run the show. This recognition will diminish its power over us. This will lead us to state where we are operating at our personal best with a clear vision of who we are and where we want to go.

The Head Banging Syndrome – Stopping Bad Habits

Don’t you sometimes wonder why you seem to repeat the same self-defeating behavior over and over again? Kind of like banging your head against the wall.doesn’t get you very far. Habitual behaviors like these stem from childhood experiences and become engrained into our psyche BUT they can be overcome. Recognizing that pesky little childhood gremlin is the first step in reversing bad habits.

The Good Life

Newly released research once again proves that what we possess in a materialistic sense has not made people happier. What does create happiness in our lives has less to do with money than it does with the emphasis on family, friends, nature, fulfillment and creative expression. Yet in our country we still equate “the good life” as one that revolves around money and goods. How can we adjust our lifestyles to create more happiness and meaning to our lives.

to the top

Creating Positive Change Articles

Cultivate Awareness and Change Your Life: Lessons from the Rainforest


The rainforest in Central America taught me a wonderful lesson: if you can quiet yourself and truly focus your attention on your surroundings, you will see a multitude of things that were seemingly invisible.

Don’t Settle for Less – Getting the Most out of Life

All too often we settle for less because even though it is not the life we want, it is the life we know. This sense of security, albeit lacking, keeps us from initiating the kind of changes that can have a major impact on our happiness and our life’s meaning. As a wise person once asked me, “What are you going to do with this one precious life of yours?

The Inner Work of Creating Positive Change

People can make lasting and positive changes in their lives. Change is the one constant thing in this universe. Creating change in your life takes a deep commitment and the willingness to do the inner work before you experience the outer manifestations of real change. But change you will.

How Gratitude Can Change Your Life

Many religious and societal traditions are based in the concept of gratitude. What all these traditions may or may not have known is that recent scientific studies point to a direct link between gratitude and a deep satisfaction with life. Not only is it good to give thanks, it is good for you to do so!

to the top

Articles for Baby Boomers

The Second Half of Life

Calling all Baby Boomers…what are you doing for the rest of your life? You have garnered much experience and wisdom at this point in time; you have worked hard, you may have rasied a family and now what? The second half of life can be an entirely new adventure or an opportunity to simply do what you have always wanted. Where do you start in order to figure it out?

to the top

Articles on Our Children and Divorce

How Divorce Affects Your Children

If you love your children more than you hate, resent or simply dislike your ex, then you are called upon to act with their well-being first & foremost.

Our Children’s Future: Ensuring their Happiness and Success

What do really want for our children? How do we define happiness and success as far as they are concerned? What are the core values that we wish it leave them with as tools to make their way in the world?

Reconnecting With Your Teenagers


Any parent of a teen will understand. Too often I get the feeling that my life with them is nothing but nagging, cajoling and getting them to do the things they need to do to be responsible adults, not to mention making it through their days with everything handled. A blowup with my son over infractions against house rules caused him to say he wanted to move out. How to get back in touch?

to the top


Let's talk

Image of Shelley StileThese are the articles I have written, but I invite you to come to the source! 

Sign up today for a 30-Minute Consultation. 



to the top