Why did I marry my Father? Why do I over-react when my spouse does certain things? Why do I make the same mistakes over and over again? Try this explanation out…
What if we married the person, possibly on a sub-conscious level, who would lead us to clean up all the adverse emotional baggage we have been carrying around all of our lives? What if it takes this divorce to allow us to finally heal ourselves? What if this divorce is the means to letting go of the psycho-babble that has kept us from being the person we were meant to be?
Let’s say that you married someone who resembles your Father or Mother on an emotional and psychological basis. All the old stuff you went through in your childhood gets repeated and reactivated. Say your Dad was overly negative. Now you are extremely sensitive to anything that smacks of criticism and of course your ex was critical of you. Even when they weren’t being overtly critical, your buttons got pushed anyway. Here’s what might be happening: As kids, we make our parent’s behavior mean something negative about us. If your Dad was negative, it wasn’t about him simply being a negative person. It was about you not being good enough. There’s the emotional baggage: not being good enough. So we marry someone who will reinforce that belief of not being good enough. When we don’t feel good enough, we over react emotionally and we do it over and over again.
That emotional baggage should have been attended to long ago but most of us aren’t even aware of it. Our divorce can reveal the stuff we’ve been carrying around for far too long and we now can clean it up once and for all. Divorce can and should move us to heal all the old emotional baggage that has stopped us from being the person we were meant to be. Could it be that we chose our spouse in order to finally do that healing? Could it be that once we have taken the time and made the effort to heal we will finally live a happy life.
Could be.
Tags: belief, conscious level, dad, divorce, emotional baggage, happy life, negative person, old stuff, psycho babble, psychological basis
Where would you be quoting it?
Shelley