Shelley has done it all without missing a beat. She kept bringing clarity and experience to my emotionally chaotic life. Life is tough, but there is hope and happiness and she can get you there.

What an insightful, caring, strong and inspirational woman.

Shelley was very helpful in helping me frame my divorce as a learning tool rather than merely a tragic event.  Together, we worked on remembering my successes rather than failures.  I was also grateful for the tips and advice that Shelly gave me to help quite my mind-chatter and self criticism.  Another useful tool that Shelley worked with me on was setting firm boundaries with my former spouse.  There’s not magic pill to take away the grief and pain of divorce.  Working with Shelley’s understanding nature and compassion helped make the process bearable.”

Shelley is your GUIDE.  She listens very carefully, has practical suggestions, supports you, but most importantly she lights a candle in your tunnel and helps you FEEL your way out of the mess.  You can trust her 100% and she will not let you down.

Forget spending money on “quick fixes” , sign up for coaching, and commit to really creating your new life out of the ashes.   I did coaching for about 6 months, and it helped me more than I can possibly express.  I am deeply grateful to Shelley.”

If we cannot get along with our ex in some sort of civil fashion we suffer but so do the kids.  If we harbor ill feelings towards our ex it will naturally affect how we deal with one another.  Being angry causes us to want to make our former partner’s miserable in some way and there are all sorts of means to achieve that end.  We can make custody arrangements difficult, we can rail against our ex in front of the kids, we can use the kids as messengers because we refuse to communicate directly with our ex, we can drag our ex into court for any little infraction, we can be emotionally reactive, we can throw blame around, we can share information about our ex and their life that has no place in our children’s world,we can remain bitter and angry…all of which has a direct impact on our children.

If you notice, all of the above behaviors stem from the fact that we have not let go of the pain of our divorce and remain stuck in negative emotions.  All of these negative emotions serve as a role model for our children.  Is that the message and behavior you want to impart to them?  I doubt it.

Recently, I sent my two children, ages 20 and 16, an apology for anything that I might have done when I was going through a highly emotional stage right after my separation.  I want to share with you the following as it is so powerful:

Dear Kids:

Sometimes when we learn from  our experiences we need to go back and clean up any mess we may have made.   There were many things that i did in the past 5 years that were not in the best interests of you kids as far as the relationship between me and your Dad goes.  I shared too much information that was not for your ears and made too many decisions from a place of hurt and resentment.  For that I am sorry. I was emotionally reactive all too often and let my emotions take over my brain.

I  have learned a great deal and am striving to be a better person.  I have expressed to Dad that we must always do what’s best for you guys no matter how we feel. I just wanted you to know that.

Love, Mom

Here are their responses:

From my 20 year old son:

We are all have our regrets, but I think what you and Dad have done together for me and Sylvie is pretty amazing. Most people would be pretty astonished at how you two have worked together to make our lives better, and I thank you and love you for that. One love mon

From my daughter:

I read your  letter, do not worry about anything i love you and i know you love me and that’s all that matters.

Put aside your hurt, pain and resentment so you can be free of that heavy burden.  Do what you can to accomplish this goal because it is how you choose to handle this divorce that will the greatest impact on your kids and their future.

This is a quote from ‘Our Town’, a famous play by Thornton Wilder.  I saw a revival recently and remembered how I last enjoyed the play when I was 12 years old because my big brother was in his high school adaptation.

The line above is spoken by the character Emily after her death.  She has returned to the after-world after a visit to earth on a typical day when she was 12 years old.  She relived that day, albeit invisible, and was completely overwhelmed by the simple beauty of everyday moments of life.  She stands in the kitchen watching her Mother make breakfast and hurry her kids off to school and begs her Mother to, ” just take a moment and look at me Ma, really look at me.”  She notices how we human beings do not seem to appreciate the sheer wonder and beauty of life.  Now that she is dead, she sees how much she missed.

The funny thing is that what I thought I remembered wasn’t even in the play> I thought there was a scene where Emily felt the warmth of the sun and a cool breeze on her face and marveled at the pleasure of those sensations.  Perhaps that was my interpretation of the scene in the kitchen.  No matter. It all points to the same thing: we simply do not appreciate what we have. We have lost the wonder that we had as children.

Of course we aren’t kids anymore.  Life has handed us all sorts of challenges and trauma  that have had their effect upon us.  We know that life isn’t all a bowl of cherries. But have we allowed our life experiences to rob of us all that life is and all that life has gifted us?  Have we lost our capacity for gratitude?

I was walking the dogs yesterday on a glorious spring day with the the trees in full bloom and a crystal clear sky.  I got it.  I said a little thank you for the moment.  Took the time to appreciate the day day’s offering and was grateful.

Try it.

A successful divorce goes far beyond a fair and just legal resolution. For me it involves acceptance, clarity and the desire and ability to live life with perspective, new energy, health and joy. Shelley’s coaching will enable you to achieve this. She is a must have for every divorcing and newly divorced woman.”

The advice not only pertained to my divorce situation, but I have found it and her tools very helpful in my day to day living.  Follow her instruction and you will receive the answers that will heal your wounds. Learn to live in the NOW of life. You will see the difference in how you feel immediately.  I was a victim of divorce, now I am VICTORIOUS over divorce!  Now I love living my life.  Thank you Shelley!

I would often get the “Deer Stuck in the Headlights” feeling, but she gives you the tools and know-how to get to The Other Side of Divorce. She explains that the “other side” does not condemn you to a life of negative emotions and baggage, but rather a life of hope and fulfillment. A new life with you at the helm.

Through actionable steps and keeping you focused on creating a new life of your making, she gets you through this difficult time in your life… all with a sharp wit and – at times – a toughness that is necessary, in order to quiet your inner gremlins who won’t shut up until Shelley shows up to break up the pity party. And all the while, I always felt that Shelley really listens to me as if I’m her only client, and doesn’t offer cookie-cutter or “one-size-fits-all” advice.

I’m not finished with my journey to the Other Side of Divorce yet, but thanks to Shelley, I’m not dreading it. I’m now eager for it – and prepared for it.