Divorce and Children: How to Lessen the Negative Impact!
For those of us with children, divorce can be more painful and challenging. More often than not, we stayed in a bad marriage for the sake of the children but all too often it is the children who suffer as a result.
A Bad Marriage or a Peaceful Divorce?
We learn about love and marriage from our parents, our primary role models. A marriage filled with conflict is not good for the children. Consider the negative impact that has versus what you imagine the negative impact of divorce might be? Of course we would rather that our marriage worked out. But It is important that we let our children know that sometimes things just don’t work out the way we had planned, that it’s no one person’s fault, that we tried our hardest and not all marriages look like the one they have witnessed.
Children are much more resilient than we give them credit for
They also know what is going on. Once you have separated and while you are going through the divorce process, open and honest communication (age 
appropriate of course) is the best way to deal with our kids.
You can Lessen the Negative Impact of Divorce on Your Children:
The most important thing you and your spouse can do for the kids is to let them know that they are loved, that this divorce is not their doing and that even though Mom and Dad are divorcing each other, they are not divorcing them (the kids). Keep them out of the line of fire. Watch them carefully for any type of significantly different behaviors. If you notice your kids acting out then get them support . Delete:if they need it…much like you! They too are undergoing divorce and their needs are not so radically different from yours.
It is How You Handle Your Divorce that will Ease the Negative Impact on Your Kids!
If your ex is absent from their lives, let them know that this is not about them but about him. You’ll need to give them love for two. As hard as it may be, keep the trash talk about your ex away from them. It serves no other purpose than to stay stuck in pain and alienation.
Don’t burden your children with your heartaches unnecessarily
They have their own load to carry not to mention the fact that given their age, they simply aren’t up to being your caretaker. Being open about your feelings is okay but not feelings that may prove to be upsetting to them.
Like you, your kids will survive this divorce and given the right support and role modeling, they (and you) will go on to thrive in their adult lives. They too need to go through a process, stages of emotional healing. The best thing you can for your children is to become the person you are meant to be; to heal yourself and go on to create a new life.
Let’s talk.
I’m a Mom too and I know the urgency of handling a divorce in the best interest of our kids.Contact me today and we can talk about divorce and your kids in a free first visit
Suggested Reading:
Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way
by M. Gary Neuman (Author)
