Choose ‘What is’ over ‘What Should Be’
Right now you have a very important choice to make: either accept reality as it actually exists or continue to live in a fantasy world of what you think should or could be. I know you know what I mean!
What Is?
You are separated. You are in pain. Your ex had an affair. You are in the midst of a messy divorce. You are divorced and it is over.
What you think should be?
You think he should move back and in. You think that this will all blow over. You think he should accept your terms for the divorce. You think he should be a better father. You think he should be more understanding. On and on and on…
Start making choices based in Reality
Understand that if you stay in what should be, you cannot and will not move forward into a new life. It is in the acceptance of what is that will give you the power and freedom to start making choices based in reality. For instance: My ex is not the Father I want him to be. He doesn’t do the things that I think he should in order to be the best Father possible to our kids. It really eats at me. As a result, my attitude towards him is not terrific which doesn’t help matters.
If I accept what is, that he is not the Father that I want him to be, then I can make new choices and do things differently. I accept that he is what he is so I need to be the very best Mom that I can be, ensuring that my kids get all the support that they need. If I feel that they need a make role model in their lives, then I will find them one. I can now stop attempting to change my ex into something that he isn’t. I accept the fact that it is he who must want to make changes in his own life. I have no control over him but I have full control over me.
Here is a very important aid to being able to accept what is:
I believe that everything happens for a reason, that there are no coincidences in life, that all is synchronicity. If you believe as I do then it is easier to accept the reality of your divorce as yet another step in your life because you know deep down that there is a reason for this… that life has a lesson for you to learn, that this is your call to get in touch with who you truly are and build a new and better life.
Think about it…in looking back on your life thus far, can you see how things that have occurred in your life have led you along the path that is your life?
Now is the time to connect or reconnect to your higher power
If you have a spiritual connection of any sort, now is the time to connect or reconnect no matter what your concept of a higher power might be. It could just be the universe at work.
Accepting what is allows you to let go of the things that do not serve you. That in turn allows you to propel into your future self.
Let’s talk.
The should be’s in life can paralyze us.Contact me today and we can talk
about how to move from what you think your life should be to the freedom of the acceptance of what is.
Your first 30 minute Life Coaching session is free.
