Choose ‘What is’ over ‘What Should Be’
Right now you have a very important choice to make: accept reality as it actually exists or continue to live in a fantasy world of what you think should or could be. I know you know what I mean!
What Is?
You are separated. You are in pain. Your ex had an affair. You are in the midst of a messy divorce. You are divorced and it is over. Your ex is a jerk.
What you think should be?
You might think they should move back and in and apply themselves to marriage counseling. You think that this will all blow over. You think they should accept your terms for the divorce. You think they should be a better parent. You think they should be more understanding. On and on and on…
Start making choices based in Reality
Understand that if you stay in what should be, you cannot and will not move forward into a new life. It is in the acceptance of what is that will give you the power and freedom to start making choices based in reality. For instance: Imagine that your ex is not the Father you want him to be. He doesn’t do the things that you think he should do in order to be the best Father possible to our kids. As a result, your attitude towards him is not terrific which doesn’t help matters.
If you accept what is, that he is not the exact Father that you expect him to be, then you can make new choices and do things differently. Accept that he is what he is and you be the very best Mom that you can be, ensuring that the kids get all the support that they need. Be grateful for all the things that he is as a Father and appreciate those qualities. Stop attempting to change your ex into something that he isn’t. Accept the fact that it is he who must want to make changes in his own life. You have no control over him but you do have full control over yourself and how you choose to handle the situation.
Here is a very important aid to being able to accept what is:
I believe that everything happens for a reason, that there are no coincidences in life, that all is synchronicity. Even if you do not believe this, there are hidden reasons and gifts for you in this divorce. If you believe as I do, then it is easier to accept the reality of your divorce as yet another step in your life. You know deep down inside, where your wisdom resides, that there is a reason for this… that life has a lesson for you to learn, that this is your call to get in touch with who you truly are and build a new and better life.
Think about it…in looking back on your life thus far, can you see how things that have occurred in your life have led you along the path that is your life?
Now is the time to connect or reconnect to your higher power
Now is the time to connect or reconnect to your inner wisdom, your higher self or even a higher power, no matter what your concept of a higher power might be.
Accepting what is allows you to let go of the things that do not serve you. That in turn allows you to propel into your future self.
Let’s talk.
The should be’s in life can paralyze us
Contact me today and we can talk about how to move from what you think your life should be to the freedom of the acceptance of what is.
Your first 30 minute Life Coaching Consultation is free.
